Because the joy of living is not a compartmentalized affair, just as I am not multiple people sharing one body, switching out my personhood depending upon the situation, I choose to live my life in a state of flow in which none of my activities are separate from the whole. I recognize work/life balance as a farce, and choose instead to balance myself internally by letting my work extend from the rest of my life and the rest of my life to be embraced by my work.
And because this life is only mine for such a relatively short time within forever, I am making the conscious decision to be an active participant, to take responsibility for my words, thoughts, deeds, and their impact upon myself and others. I am saying yes to choosing happiness whenever possible, and to being honest enough with myself to admit that more often than not, it is possible to find happiness in even the bleakest and most uncontrollable circumstances. I am saying no to globalizing negative emotions, and refusing to participate in my brain’s addiction to stress hormones. I will not play along when my mind tries to derail me with negativity, because I choose to live in a state of joy and positivity, and know that my brain can be trained to prefer that state of being.
I am expanding my capacity to love by forgiving myself for what I have so long perceived as shortcomings. I am acknowledging my own goodness. I will recognize my capacity for expansion as I stretch beyond the self-imposed boundaries I created out of fear. Within this expansion, my self-love allows me to be more pure in my intentions to love my wife, our children, my friends, my clients, and every other person whose life intersects with mine, regardless of how briefly our paths cross. By filling myself full of love, I am discovering that there is no room in my life for self-loathing, self-righteousness, or self-pity, all of which are nothing more than convoluted expressions of fear. This commitment to love extends outward from my core, to all that I do, whether I’m caring for my own health, tending to my marriage, writing a book, or working with clients.
I am choosing to honor my body, thankful for all that it has done and continues to do for me. Despite years of abuse, perpetuated by myself and others, my body has been an unceasingly faithful servant, and it deserves to be nurtured, appreciated, and thanked for everything it has given me. At this time in my life, caring for my health means being proactive in the management of MCAD, meticulously reviewing my own labs and records, coordinating care and the sharing of information between the wonderful specialists on my healthcare team, overcoming my fear of pharmaceuticals in order to take the drugs that are currently necessary, and keeping trigger logs in order to slowly and safely add nourishing foods and activities back into my life. I will treat my daily healing meditation as an appointment that can’t be missed, because I know that the brain controls all bodily functions, and that meditation changes the structure of the brain and the chemical messages it sends. I will take care of the present reality of my disease without losing optimism and faith that I can heal to the point of complete remission of symptoms.
Because I trust myself, I can relax into trusting my life. I trust my gut instincts, and I will not rob myself of this primal gift by having anyone in my life who doesn’t belong here. Because I don’t waste my energy on people I don’t wish to have in my life, my full focus and attention can be given to the people who mean the most to me. I will remember that it is possible to be kind and compassionate without sacrificing boundaries or the right to say no.
Because creativity is vital for learning, growth, joy, and innovation, I will not tamp down my curiosity or apologize for my enthusiasm. I will remind myself to bring a sense of awe and wonder to each day, because every brand new twenty-four hours is something I have never seen before, and what it may hold is limited only by my own beliefs. I will not belittle myself for thinking big, or make myself small by shrinking into a role designated by someone else. I will step into my life, fully present, and grateful for the opportunity.
Today we’re writing manifestos of spirit in our What’s the Big Idea? ecourse. Want to write your own? Join us for the next What’s the Big Idea? Classes begin March 23rd. Reserve your space today! Click here for more details.